


Lexa's Guardian Angel

by dykeadellic



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23009134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dykeadellic/pseuds/dykeadellic
Summary: Clarke watches over Lexa as she grows up. Her whole life, Lexa knows Clarke only as her guardian angel. Until the day the sky people come to earth, and a much younger version of her guardian angel suddenly stands before her.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 9
Kudos: 173
Collections: Clexaweek2020





	Lexa's Guardian Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Posted for day 3 of Clexaweek2020 (theme, time travel). I am sorry in advance, but this needed to be done. Because are soulmates ever truly apart? Leave a comment if you liked it!

Clarke stood next to Raven, staring at the machine in front of her.

“And this will really work?” she asked cautiously, but with a glint in her eyes that hadn’t been there before.

“This machine will take you back to the day Lexa was born. Clarke, you know you can’t save her, right? It would change all of the future. You’d possibly never make it back. I would cease to exist. There are very real consequences to using this machine. Everyone you know now will be different, possibly dead,” Raven stressed.

“I just want to see her one last time, Raven. Even just from a distance. I just need to hear her voice,” Clarke said with a calmness she didn’t feel.

Raven sat in her wheelchair, eyes boring into Clarke’s eyes before she sighed and said, “Alright, kid. Do what you need to do, and please come back. For me. For all of us. We need you.”

Clarke attempted a smile, but she was sure it came out as more of a grimace. They didn’t need Clarke. Not anymore, at least. They were able to take care of themselves. Clarke had long ago stopped being their leader. She was thirty-five—gods was she really that old now? With wrinkles starting to form on her face? Lexa wouldn’t know her. But she would know Lexa, even if just from a distance.

Clarke climbed into the time machine, looking over at Raven.

“Just in case… I do love all of you,” Clarke said softly.

“I know. Now close your eyes. You’re going to land right outside of Polis. Unplug the time machine from the generator and turn the generator off. Without it, you won’t make it back,” Raven told her.

But they both knew it was highly unlikely Clarke would ever return. And if she did? She’d be much older than they all were. She would live her life watching over Lexa. What a way to live.

Clarke closed her eyes, and suddenly everything was shaking, as Raven had said it would. When Clarke opened her eyes and shoved the hatch open, she was indeed just outside of Polis. The world was green around her, something that didn’t seem possible. But the nuclear reactors hadn’t melted down yet, and the earth was still habitable. It was utterly bizarre.

Clarke spent hours wandering outside of Polis. She knew Lexa’s clan would be here, and Lexa’s mother would be giving birth now. Her mother, who had died in childbirth, as all mothers of Natblida’s did. Something to do with the incompatible blood types. Her mother had once explained it to her, but she hadn’t cared enough to listen.

“Ahhhh!” a scream rented the air. Clarke knew she had found the person she had been looking for. But Clarke wasn’t going to mess this up. She waited for Lexa to be born, watching from a distance. When night fell, Clarke quietly entered the camp and went to baby Lexa. Even this young, her eyes were green, not standard blue. She was the cutest baby Clarke had ever seen.

“Hey, Lexa. It’s me—your guardian angel. You’ll know me as Clarke one day, but today I am simply your guardian angel. I will make sure you grow up big and strong to be the best Heda ever.”

Clarke stood there a few hours, holding the sleeping baby Lexa. When she began to stir, probably very much hungry, Clarke set her down and left.

Lexa was seven, and she was in training. Her guardian angel had never seen someone so fast before. It was like she always found a zen area in herself, and she went there before fighting. Lexa, the youngest of the lot, was easily the best.

“Will you ever tell me your name?” Lexa asked her as they sat in her bed in Polis, where the training took place.

“One day, you will see me. A younger me. And she will tell you my name.”

Lexa huffed. “Time travel isn’t real, you know.”

Her angel gave a rueful smile.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

Lexa was fifteen, and her trial was today. Her angel knew Luna had already fled, though she didn’t feel the need to tell Lexa that.

“What if I don’t win?” Lexa asked, her voice cracking and giving away her fear.

“You will. But you have to know you will. You have to believe it in every fiber of your being. You are Heda; the trial is a formality. I’ve seen it, Lexa. You will do amazing things. Uniting the clans, bringing peace to your people, showing everyone a new way of life is possible.”

Lexa looked at her guardian angel for a long moment before she said, “For someone who time-traveled here, you sure haven’t gone back to your own time. Why?”

She gave a sad smile. “Because the person I love hasn’t been there for a very long time now. And now, I am your guardian angel. I will be watching you today, Lexa, and I will be cheering for you.”

Lexa was ruthless. She killed every one of the initiates. And when they tattooed her back, she didn’t even flinch. When Titus gave her the Flame, she didn’t squirm. But when she was alone, her guardian angel came out of the shadows.

“I told you,” she said cheekily, a smile filled with sorrow on her face.

“Why are you always so sad?” Lexa asked her.

“Because I’ve seen too much ever to be happy again. But you have a chance. Don’t let them tell you otherwise. Being a Commander doesn’t have to mean always being alone. You can have a life and still rule the clans.”

“You speak in riddles. The clans have never been united before,” Lexa scoffed.

“Are you saying you aren’t powerful enough to do it?” her guardian angel asked.

“I didn’t say that!” young Lexa protested.

There was silence as they stared into each other’s eyes. The blue of her guardian angel’s was a reassuring sight to Lexa. Ever since she could remember, her guardian angel would come to her when she was alone. She could remember her angel singing her to sleep after nightmares. Every time there was the quiet, her angel always followed. It drove Lexa mad. She wanted to know who this blond was. But her angel only gave cryptic answers.

And the sadness in her eyes, by all the gods it was enough to break Lexa’s heart. Every time she looked at Lexa, there was a pain in her eyes, as though even looking at Lexa hurt her angel’s heart. Lexa often wondered about that. Her angel had always told her she was a time traveler. Lexa had wondered if she were teasing, but the way she watched Lexa and told Lexa what would happen before it did made her wonder. Was she a shaman? Lexa didn’t know. She just knew she trusted her angel. There was something about her presence that spoke to Lexa on a level she didn’t quite understand. It was like she always had and always would know her guardian angel.

She had no idea how right she was.

Lexa was nineteen, and she had just united all twelve clans.

“I told you that you would do it,” her guardian angel said cockily, blue eyes twinkling, laugh lines showing around her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. I still don’t believe you’re a time traveler, angel,” Lexa grumbled, and the older woman lying on the bed next to her laughed.

“Then how am I right about everything?” she countered.

“Maybe you’re a Seer who only thinks she is a time traveler,” Lexa responded.

“Oh, Lex, how I wish that were the case,” her angel said, the sadness returning to her face.

Lexa was tempted to turn over and cup her cheek. There was always such sadness wherever this beautiful woman went. She exuded regret and brokenness. But sometimes it fell away. Sometimes she was a laughing, happy guardian angel. Today was not that day.

“When will you tell me your name?” Lexa asked suddenly, very quietly.

Her guardian angel gave a small smile and reached for Lexa’s hand, holding it as she said, “Sometime after you turn twenty-one, I will tell you my name. And you will know then that everything I have ever said is true,” the blond repeated the old lines.

Lexa didn’t pull her hand away, and they laid there staring up at the ceiling and reveling in Lexa’s victory.

Lexa was twenty, and the Ice Nation had just killed Costia. Lexa was on a rampage. She had demanded everyone leave. When she saw her guardian angel, she wanted to attack.

“If you’re a fucking time traveler, how did you not know this?” Lexa screamed, hurling a goblet at the older woman.

“Lexa, stop! I did! But I couldn’t tell you! I know you’re mad, but this isn’t the end. There is someone else out there for you. Someone who will love you more than you ever thought possible. Someone who will hold you until you take your last breath, some-“

But Lexa was throwing plates now, enjoying the noise they made as they broke.

“Get out! Get out, and don’t you ever come back or I swear by the gods I will kill you myself!” Lexa ordered. If she hadn’t been so caught up in her own grief, she’d have seen the pain return to her guardian angel’s eyes.

She was twenty-one, and her guardian angel hadn’t been by to see her since the day Costia died. Sometimes Lexa thought she glimpsed her in a crowd, but she could never be quite sure.

“Heda, the woman who killed our people is here,” Indra said, face filled with rage.

“Let her in,” Lexa said lazily.

If Lexa hadn’t been so in control of herself, she might have dropped her mouth in shock. Standing before her was her guardian angel. But not the one Lexa had become so used to seeing. No, this was a much younger version. The mole, the clear blue eyes, all of it were so familiar and so foreign to Lexa.

“You’re the one who burned three hundred of my warriors alive,” Lexa said.

“You’re the one who sent them there to kill us,” the woman responded with a steady voice and an even gaze.

“Who are you?” Lexa asked, curiosity burning through her veins.

“Clarke. Clarke Griffin.”

She was twenty-one, and her guardian angel had indeed just told her who she was. _Oh, shit_ she thought.

When Clarke killed Finn, the rage in her eyes was a new emotion. Lexa had seen love in her guardian angel’s face. She would have died to protect Lexa and had often told her so. How did she go from this angry young woman into the loving angel she was?

But time passed, and eventually, the pain faded from Clarke’s eyes. The rage quieted until Mount Weather. And Lexa knew what she had to do. That night her angel came back.

“You had to do it,” was all she said to Lexa, her face even older than the last time Lexa had seen her.

Lexa collapsed onto the bed, into her guardian angel’s arms crying. Because she loved this woman, both the young version and the guardian angel version, and she felt like she would never be able to make it right. The Commander’s life was best lived alone.

She had done it. She had Wanheda brought to her. But the rage in Clarke’s face was so much worse than Lexa had expected. It broke her to her core, though she would never let it show in her face. She was the Commander. She was always in control.

And when Clarke held a blade to her throat, emotions warring in her, Lexa knew what true regret was.

“I’m sorry I turned you into this,” Lexa had said because there was nothing else she could say. She had caused this. She had betrayed Clarke. Clarke, the one person who had never betrayed her. The woman who had been there since the start of Lexa’s life. If Lexa hadn’t believed in time travelers before, she did now. The likeness of the two was so exact. They were more alike than twins. They shared the same mannerism. The same voice. The same laugh. And Lexa had betrayed them both by leaving them outside of Mount Weather.

The next month was the most important part of their relationship. Clarke began speaking to Lexa, and the older version of Clarke was never around. Not that Lexa had really expected her to be. She had always known that there was more than just concern for her in her guardian angel’s face. She had been in love with Lexa. She had come back. So Lexa had died. Didn’t all Commanders? She paid that thought no attention. She was just grateful she had Clarke now.

When Lexa swore fealty to Clarke, she knew the balance had tipped. She could see it in Clarke’s eyes, but she let the other woman hold her silence. One day. Her guardian angel had given her that hope. Because who else would Lexa have ended up with? No one was so dedicated to their people besides Clarke. Clarke, who was willing to forgive. Who had shown up when Lexa fought Roan. Whose face was the first Lexa’s eyes sought in the crowd.

And then it was the day where Clarke had to leave Polis. And as she gripped Clarke’s arm, Clarke pulled her in for a searing kiss. Suddenly everything was right in the world. She wanted to keep Clarke there for the rest of her life. She wanted to keep going with this kiss.

She was aware that she was crying, but she noticed Clarke looked like she wanted to cry as well, so she figured this wasn’t weakness; this was strength. The kiss was fire, Clarke was burning her up, and it was so pleasurable. It had never been like this with Costia. It had been fun, but not this intense, like the very sun was burning her alive? It could only be like that with Clarke because Clarke was the one for her. The only one she would ever want.

And then Clarke left, and Lexa knew true pain. Her heart hurt so badly that she wanted to cave into herself. But then she heard the gunshots, and she raced out of her room. She was aware of Clarke’s horrified face before she felt the pain. She was aware of the agony on Clarke’s face as she told her not to be afraid. She was also aware of the utter denial in Clarke’s voice. The hurt when Titus waved Clarke away and Lexa made him swear never to hurt Clarke again.

She was aware that she was the one comforting Clarke, and she was aware of Clarke crying as she said, “You’re right, Clarke, life is about more than just surviving.”

And she knew, while she would never see Clarke Griffin again until the day she died, Clarke would have years and years of seeing her.

And then there was Clarke in the Flame with her. And everything was crazy, but she knew Clarke was fighting Alie. They all were.

“Lexa, wait!” Clarke had cried, black blood staining her top lip.

Lexa turned.

“I love you,” Clarke choked out.

And there was no appropriate response. Lexa didn’t know a life without Clarke. She would never know one without Clarke. So she said the only true thing.

“I’ll always be with you.”

And she would. Whether as a young child, a grumbling teenager, or an irate adult. And even when she wasn’t physically there, she believed she would be beside Clarke. There was an afterlife. She unsheathed her swords and turned to the approaching army.

“Yu gonplei ste odon, Clarke,” she whispered. “But yours is just begun.”

And with that, Lexa charged.


End file.
